Kids art inspires me too

I am rather proud to admit that my kids like craft a lot. They still aren't able to really do much yet, but the paints are pencils are very often used in our house.

The other week my 3 year old spent one and a half hours painting these babushka dolls, to give to her cousin for her 1st birthday. She got so into it. I was actually having to try and make her stop by the end of it, so they all didn't turn out just like brown mush.

It amazes me constantly though, how precise, careful, and attention to detail she is. Can't wait to see what her art looks like when she 'grows up'!




xx

It's the little things

I had a very encouraging chat with a friend the other day. When I walked in to see her she said she had just been reading my blog. 'Oh no', I thought! What does it say? I am not very good at keeping up to date.

Anyhow, she was encouraged by my honesty about my mothering journey. We had a lovely chat, with me being kid free for the first time in a long time! Gee what a difference it makes to how a conversation can go!!

I am trying to make steps to better my mental state and physical health. To have time out, space, and friends. I am struggling, which is hard to admit because I have grown up strong and able. For the first time in my life, I have days where I wonder if I'll actually make it through.

My oldest daughter has rather significant delays in certain areas, and though she is the most darling, thoughtful, loving beauty, it is getting increasingly harder to look after her and know how to help her. It feels like every day I am asked to have the patience of one thousand Mums, and I'm not sure that I have enough left for even one. I hate feeling like this. I really do. I feel quite out of control. Helpless. But I am trying to make positive steps.

Needing to be weak, but also having people rely on you for their daily living...it turns into a rather complex emotion. I know all the truths. It will get easier. I am doing my best. I love my kids dearly. And that's what they need most. Sometimes knowing this makes a difference, but sometimes it doesn't too. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this. So thought I'd share it, so we can all know that we're ok....

On a lighter note, but still just as honest...here's a picture of my creating space from that same afternoon.




The girls have a blast unpacking things 'for' me, and discovering all the textural treats. Usually I try to tame it a little. But this day they were having such fun and amusing themselves so well, I just let them go for it while I finished off a brooch. Just one way I am trying to make the most of my opportunities....it's worth the clean up afterwards, almost always...


xx

To be...

Being a Mum is so hard sometimes. I lose patience too quickly. Become angry too much. I lose focus from the big picture that is a beautiful, delicate soul. A tender tiny life that is barely even budding. I have so many expectations on myself of who I should be able to be. Me being that, depends on my daughters behaving a certain way, needing or not needing different things. And sometimes, it is just too unfair to expect this of them in order to satisfy my own selfish gain. I always remember. Sometimes it's too late. Sometimes it's not. Tell you what, our kids are so forgiving.

It feels like a never-ending circle. Of the same mistakes. It's easy to get down on myself about what an inadequate mother I am. I want to focus on the positives more. And not be so hard on myself. Because that's when I turn hard on my kids.

When I step back and think, I'm not sure even what I want my life to look like, so I'm not sure why I'm so unsatisfied. I am so fortunate and I want to embrace remembering that. Everyday mothering is monotonous, all-consuming, sometimes lonely, tiring. But I want to focus on the part of it that is two tiny lives learning to be. Learning to love and discover. I don't want to forget to watch that. They are so precious, and if I'm not careful they'll be gone.



xx

xx

silhouettes on a rainy day

Inspired by this today.

I just love the sharp, dainty silhouette of a tree. I am so often refreshed by its frosty, cold bareness. I was reminded today that I am very thankful to winter for this picture. I was sitting in the library watching my daughter stack books in a pile (as you do when 'book'ing), and the naked trees outside caught my eye. Making me feel even happier than I already was.

I really am so inspired by silhouettes. Of most things, but especially nature.

Being Mummy!

Hello friends...I'm still alive yes. And totally immersed in Mummyhood! I have two most precious daughters who are sensitive, emotional souls. My two year old, a generous, thoughtful, mostly shy and sometimes stubborn little curly girl. My baby babe, a hungry, sucking bundle of squirms, smiles and growing teeth.

Sometimes I long for the life of creating. To have time, and personal space. I struggle, feeling out of control and like I am getting nowhere. Sometimes the feeling is short-lived, sometimes it lasts for weeks. But it always ends when I am somehow reminded of the worth of the job I am doing right now. I am so very blessed to be watching these little ones grow, to be a part of their lives. I don't want to miss it, and I want to be here when they need me.

I spend a fair bit more time than I used to jibbing the Internet and spying on Facebook, when I'm feeding, or lying with my babe at night etc. I've noticed how, interestingly, sometimes investigating all the wonderful creativity that's going on around me can make me feel sad and frustrated that I don't have the time to be a part of it. I find myself struggling to be content in my mothering role. I want to be creating tiny art works and meeting new friends at markets and shops and supporting handmade and, of course the list goes on! I feel mad at myself for being so caught up in keeping on top of the 'house', for doing everything else first....

Though I think there is room for improvement in wanting to 'keep up' instead of creating, I am so grateful for the last little while where I've realised, it's ok that I can't do it all, and my priority right now is to my little ones. I feel so happy that I can be love and nurture to them. The rest can wait. And I hope it will.

I do create 'bits' when I get a chance, and in our new house I have a beautiful huge space to overflow in! Here are a few bad photos
of my latest creations. Thanks for checking back here still! I'm going to try and write more. xx

...a few things I've been working on lately...

I've so been enjoying wandering through art books, finding peoples faces and making them 'mini'.



I'm also (still!) enjoying buttons..and the fact I have figured out how to make these necklaces reversible, so each side brings a new picture - two in one!


An old pillowcase...


And I've been experimenting with earrings...



All of these (except for the beautiful green lady who has already been sold) are available for purchase through my Etsy Store (see link on the right). Alternatively, you can contact me directly to order something custom..or pay in Aussie dollars..